{"id":212,"date":"2013-10-25T12:17:43","date_gmt":"2013-10-25T16:17:43","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/carpecollege.com\/?p=212"},"modified":"2014-12-15T12:35:17","modified_gmt":"2014-12-15T17:35:17","slug":"parents-in-parentheses","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/carpecollege.com\/?p=212","title":{"rendered":"(Parents in Parentheses)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Here’s an early passage from Carpe College! <\/em><\/span><\/a><\/span>to help parents find their bearings during this challenging transition…<\/p>\n

\u201cLord, help me not to do for my children what they can do for themselves.\u00a0 Help me not to give them what they can earn for themselves.\u00a0 Help me not to tell them what they can look up and find out for themselves.\u00a0 Help me to help my children stand on their own two feet to grow into responsible, disciplined adults.\u201d<\/b><\/em><\/address>\n
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 -Marian Wright Edelman, Guide My Feet<\/b><\/em><\/address>\n

Before we truly begin to Carpe College!<\/em><\/span><\/a>, we need to assign some roles and responsibilities.<\/p>\n

Hey parents, yes you are part of the deal, and yes this book is for you, too.\u00a0 But it\u2019s time to move to the sidelines and be more\u2026 how shall I say?\u00a0 Parenthetical.\u00a0 This book ought to give your kids the confidence to manage their new collegiate lives, and it ought to give you parents the peace of mind that your kids are well equipped to \u2018own it\u2019 on their own.<\/p>\n

You can no longer be those \u2018Ice Curling\u2019 parents, who run on ahead and sweep away all the trouble spots, so your child can have smooth sailing.\u00a0 Nope. If you’ve tried that, you can\u2019t do it anymore!\u00a0 You should be present, to a degree, but you\u2019re a tag-a-long.\u00a0 Think about it.\u00a0 You\u2019ve been practicing for this all along by watching little league games, stage dramas and music recitals from afar, and now it\u2019s time to kick your spectatorship into high gear.\u00a0 There\u2019s a huge difference between being a safety net and being a puppeteer.\u00a0 You need to be the former.<\/p>\n

Be enriching, not overbearing.\u00a0 If you encounter an interesting article about your kid\u2019s favorite musician, a good TED Talk<\/i> related to their major, or a good lead for an internship, by all means, send it along.\u00a0 But mark it \u2018No Response Needed\u2019 or something else you\u2019ve worked out to indicate that you\u2019re just throwing stuff their way, and they shouldn\u2019t feel obliged to get back to you.\u00a0 You could even just say, \u2018Hey, thank me at Thanksgiving.\u2019\u00a0 Don\u2019t worry.\u00a0 Of course, they\u2019re going to talk to you before that!\u00a0 You\u2019re just demonstrating how easy going you can be\u2026. Right?!<\/p>\n

Encourage from afar.\u00a0 Keep communication lines open by letting them know you\u2019re available when THEY<\/em> need to call or text.\u00a0 Leave the ball in their court, and respect their new lives, schedules and demands.\u00a0 They will need (and want) to communicate with you, but they would like to do it on their terms and timeline.\u00a0 Please let them.\u00a0 Give them their space, and they will be stronger.\u00a0 You will be stronger.\u00a0 Kind of like free-range turkeys (or something like that).<\/p>\n

So, parents, please proceed to your proper place: \u00a0those (parentheses)!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Oh yeah, and if you \u2018borrowed\u2019 this book from your kid, be sure to give it back when you’re done.<\/b><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Here’s an early passage from Carpe College! to help parents find their bearings during this challenging transition… \u201cLord, help me not to do for my children what they can do for themselves.\u00a0 Help me not to give them what they can earn for themselves.\u00a0 Help me not to tell them what they can look up and find out for themselves.\u00a0 … Continue Reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/carpecollege.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/212"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/carpecollege.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/carpecollege.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/carpecollege.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/carpecollege.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=212"}],"version-history":[{"count":15,"href":"https:\/\/carpecollege.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/212\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":227,"href":"https:\/\/carpecollege.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/212\/revisions\/227"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/carpecollege.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=212"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/carpecollege.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=212"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/carpecollege.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=212"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}